The Hoo-hah Report July 29, 2010

The last two days have been a little stressful, but we got good news that the cancer has not spread!

Yesterday, I went for the scan. I was upset because I had thought Jared would be able to sit with me the hour prior to the scan to help calm my nerves. What I didn't realize was that I was injected with a radioactive solution and no one could be around me, because I was radioactive. The good news is that the nurse said I was "pretty hot." Even though I know it was in reference to the solution, I'll take compliments where I can get them.

After my pity party of being left alone in a room, I realized that I'd better take advantage of the time, and put my feet up and read a magazine for the remaining 45 minutes uninterrupted. Every mom likes a break, I just didn't know I'd have to get cancer to get it.

Today, was the day I was most nervous about. This was the day we were meeting with the oncologist. He would have the scan results and it would be the real deal. I was terrified that it would say the cancer had spread, and I was just as afraid of not knowing. I was very much relieved to find that the cancer is contained.

Going forward, I have surgery on August 10. Due to the size of the tumor, the oncologist wants to follow up with chemo and radiation to kill off any cancer that may be hiding out macroscopically. Luckily, I am told this form of chemo will be the kind where I don't lose my hair! I know it is completely vain considering how serious the situation, but it feels like a small victory.

There is definitely a road ahead of us of treatments, recovery, and lifestyle adjustments. We just keep taking each day as it comes. We are thrilled & relieved by the news that this is treatable, and that I should be around for a long time.

The Hoo-hah Report July 27, 2010

We are in the hurry up and wait stage of the cancer game. Last week things were moving at an alarming rate, and now we are waiting for the next tests to be done and come up with a game plan for treatment. I feel we are in the calm before the storm.

I will have a pet CT scan on Wednesday morning. (Jared let me know I had called it the wrong test in a previous post.) I am told I will ingest a dye (or maybe it is put in by IV -- a little hazy on the details) and I will sit for an hour to absorb the dye, and then have the 20 minute scans. The following day I will meet with my oncologist at 2:15 pm and discuss the findings and how to move forward.

I am anticipating Thursday will be an emotional day, as it will be the real deal of what's going on. I will post information as soon as I am up to it.

In the meantime I have been searching out the role of deficiencies and diet play in cancer.

I have found sugar feeds cancer, so I will be doing all I can to eradicate it from my life. So far, it has not even been a struggle. I know I am blessed in this. Up until last week I had a fairly severe Dr Pepper addiction. (It is the celestial drink -- well aside from the pesky little side effect it may give you cancer) I have tried unsuccessfully in the past to get off "the sauce" By mid day I would typically have such severe headaches I would fall back into the caffeine routine. Anyone who knows me knows that I have to have something sweet every day. I have not had any struggles with not having these things. I am grateful to be spared from that!

I plan to eliminate the bad things and focus on the good in all aspects of my life. As far as diet, I have & will continue to focus on more natural foods. Raw vegetables & fruit (more veggies than fruit), whole grains, nuts, and sparingly eat lean meats. This will definitely be an adjustment for our family.

I am also researching the role of Vitamin D deficiency in cancer. I'm at the baby steps stage, but hope to have more information going forward.

Can't a mom catch a break

Last night when we were eating dinner, Hadley kept saying, "Daddy, daddy, daddy"

To which I responded now say, "Mommy"

After much encouragement she finally replied, "Pa-paw! Pa-paw, Pa-paw!"

Can't a mom catch a break?

Thank you Jenna for offering to take our pictures!

Confetti Blessings

(Read the prior post first)

Last month we attended church while visiting family for our nephew's blessing. The sister teaching the lesson during Sunday school mentioned that her blessings were like confetti. It reminded me when I was growing up and my step-sister had a "game" we played with confetti. We cut up strips of construction paper into tiny squares of homemade confetti. We filled our lunch bags with the small pieces. On command, we would throw our confetti at each other and watch as it filled every square inch of the room. This was a huge mess to clean up, but it was so much fun we would search and pick up each piece and do it again. I think our family's blessings are also like confetti. We have a bagful of tiny pieces of blessings, and at times we may have to search for them, but when we take the time to look they are all around us like confetti.

We feel so blessed as a family. We are already starting to see that things we didn't understand to be the hand of God in our lives.

I know better why our house deal feel through and why I felt prompted to not accept the teaching job. It was a series of frustrations at the time. Now, I am grateful that we get to stay in OUR house. This is the house we brought our children home to, this is the home their growth measurements are marked on the inside of their closet doors. This is the house that I picked out carpet, tile, cabinets, and paint. This is the house where we have prepared nightly dinners, dyed Easter eggs, had birthday parties, and set up a Christmas tree. We have so many memories and this feels like home.

I was awakened from a sense of apathy in my everyday life. I now cherish every mundane task with my children. I say, "yes" more. We have built forts, I've read extra stories, I played legoes, listened intently to tales of bakugan, have given more kisses, and played games. I let Hadley go wild in my jewelry drawer, and take out & play with all the bracelets.

Jared has been amazing to me. He is my rock, when I'm blubbering all the time. He reassures me, and I don't know how I got so lucky to find him.

We have friends and family that love and support us. I am so grateful for your words of encouragement and offering to help our family.

Last year my mom felt that it was time to move to Texas, after living in Georgia for 10 years. I know in part, this is for me. I am sure she could not have anticipated what lay ahead, but having her nearby will be a huge help to our family.

I have been re-establishing my testimony on eternal families. I find great comfort in knowing that no matter what, one day we will be together again as a family. I know our journey doesn't end here.

Health is a blessing, and when my health is returned I will understand that more fully.

On a not so serious note, I have also found the perfect combination of mono & stress of cancer will help you lose that last bit of baby weight. Little known secret.

Worst week of my life.

I don't have any idea to start this post.

The has been the toughest week of my life. I found out on Monday that I have cervical cancer. I am overwhelmed with disbelief and sadness if I think too much on the subject.

How this all started: I was having some minor female issues that were consistent. They weren't typically abnormal, but I was concerned that they weren't going way. I assumed they were related to my IUD in some way. Very quickly my doctor noticed some irregularities, and did a cervical biopsy. At this visit she was still doing this simply as a precaution to rule out cancer. The doctor scheduled a follow-up visit for Monday to review the results.

On Wednesday at noon, I was called by the doctor's office and told it was urgent that I come in that afternoon. My ob/gyn told me that it was cancerous, and that based on what she knew so far was "unusual and semi-agressive." We were both completely caught off guard by this as I am 31, had a normal pap 18 months ago, and a baby last year. Words can not describe my feeling at hearing this. In the simplest of terms I have a one year old and a five year old. I think any mom can understand my overwhelming sense of anxiety.

Today is a bittersweet day. Today is my dad's birthday, as well as my grandfather's who past away last November of cancer. It hits home that I am dealing with cancer one year after he was dealing with his. At 2 pm, I went to a gyn oncologist. He performed an exam, and found a medium sized tumor on my cervix. Apparently this is a good thing, because it likely means that the cancer is localized in one area. We are having to wait for a PT scan early in the week to see if the cancer has spread to other parts of my body. If it is localized, my prognosis is much better. The oncologist was very positive that this is treatable.

For the treatment we are looking at some combination of hysterectomy, radiation & chemo. For radiation treatment I will have daily treatments M-F for 5 weeks. I will also have chemo once a week at the oncologist office. We won't know for sure until after the PT scan results. (Please pray that it is isolated and I don't have pockets of cancer hiding out.) He's anticipating me starting treatment in about a week and a half. It's going to be a hard road ahead, but I am hopeful that we are able to kick cancer's butt.

I am grateful for the outpouring of support that my friends and family have offered me. Many of you have asked how you can help.

Currently, I am fine. As I begin treatment I am anticipating we could use help with dinner meals. My mom will be helping a lot during this time taking care of me at home, but I don't want to stretch her too thin. She will already be taking me to treatments, taking care of the kids, and me. I'm imagining it will be more challenging to plan meals & grocery shop during my treatment stage.

On a different note, if anyone knows of a good, local photographer that would be willing to volunteer their services and take some quality family photos of us in the next week, I would appreciate it. (Please check with them before volunteering their services.) If I have chemo, I'm expecting the hair loss that comes with it. In case the worst case scenario occurs, I would have comfort in knowing that my family had at least one good, recent photo of us to look back on from our "normal" days.

I'm headed to uncharted territory, and I don't know what to expect. As I can, I will update the blog to keep you all posted.

Hadley at 14 months old

Here is Hadley at 14 months old in a super cute dress from her Aunt Cheryse & Uncle Dave.

Stats:

Weight: 19 lbs.

Teeth: 6 teeth (with one giant gap between her top two. Poor girl, she inherited that from her momma -- I see orthodontia in our future)

Words: Hi, cat, up, dadadada -- although we are working on using them consistently. This morning I said, "hi Hadley girl!" and she replied, "hi!" Then later in the day, she wouldn't say it all. So she's learning, but far from being a chatterbox, at least in real words.

Hadley has taken to wanting to do everything her big brother. She follows right behind Adam around learning all about how to be a kid. He has taught her how to run circles around the kitchen at pappaw's house, how to beg for the good treats, how to dance, and how to climb on the couch by herself.

We find our life busier with 2 kids running around, but it sure is fun to have moments where she can escape the stroller and enjoy the fun.

Oh So Sassy Evalyn Dress

During nap time I sewed my 2nd pattern from the Oh So Sassy off Etsy. This is the Evalyn dress, which is very similar to a pillow case style dress. If I were to make this again, I would shorten it. I originally imagined this to be something she could wear in the fall with leggings over a plain shirt. It's longer than I imagined, so we'll see if I leave it as is, or modify it later.

Don't mind Hadley's red face, Jared took the kids to the park while I finished the straps. This is right after they came back all hot & sweaty, and right before her naked dance off.

Note to self: One shoulder tie makes this dress easy for a 14 month old to remove.

Oh So Sassy Dress

I made this adorable dress for Hadley last night.

I ordered the pattern & fabric from Oh So Sassy on etsy.

She is really affordable, and she already has perfectly coordinated fabrics cut out for you. There was very minor cutting. The directions were easy to follow if you are paying attention. I made a mistake and grabbed the wrong piece for the bottom, and then had a skinnier strap around the waist. It worked out since Hadley is small anyway. The pattern is fairly forgiving, so if you have sewing experience it will be easy to follow.

From start to finish took 3 hours. I did make a few mistakes & I could never get the size perfect for Hadley's petite frame. That had more to do with a wiggly 14 month old, than the pattern. I've decided not take out the straps again, but to just let her grow into it. (Mainly because I don't think she'll let me try it on her a 4th time.)

Hair Cut Time

The last time I took Adam for a paid haircut, I ended up paying for half a haircut and taking him home early after the stylist cut him three times with her scissors. It wasn't her fault, he refused to sit still. After that I started giving him haircuts at home. He is still just as wiggly, but we manage to get a whole haircut for free. I do ask for tips in hugs & kisses. Adam's favorite part is when daddy vacuums off the hair.

Who doesn't want their picture taken?

This could have been such a nice picture.